Great One Liners Guaranteed To Keep You Laughing

Many of the best comedians are masters of the comic one liner.

While shaggy dog stories and humorous monologues are certainly appreciated in the world of comedy, a well timed one line joke is a sure fire method to have an audience in stitches in a matter of seconds.

From Groucho Marx to Woody Allen to Don Rickles and beyond, certain comedians have made a speciality of funny one liners. We spent hours pouring over our research material to select a few exceptional examples of this much loved style of comedy. It was hard work and we almost pulled several muscles from laughing too hard, but we survived the experience to present our choices for some of the best one line jokes in existence.

1. “I never forget a face, but in your case Iíd be glad to make an exception.”

Julius Henry “Groucho” Marx was an American comedian and film and television star. Groucho is renowned as one of the great comedians of the modern era and his cinematic romps during the golden age of Hollywood are considered classics. Along with his brothers Chico, Harpo, Gummo and Zeppo, Groucho kept film audiences laughing with his madcap antics. Groucho also had a successful solo career, most notably as the host of the radio and television game show ‘You Bet Your Life.”

2. “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.”

Woody Allen is an American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician whose career spans over half a century. Allen has been nominated for 23 Academy Awards for his films and he has won four Oscars; three for Best Screenplay and one for Best Director. Woody is famous for his comedic obsession with sex and death.

3. “Oh my God, look at you; anyone else hurt in the accident?”

Donald Jay “Don” Rickles is an American stand-up comedian and actor. Although he was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson and he has acted in many comedic and dramatic film roles, Rickles is best known as the leading master of insult comedy.

4. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.”

William “Billy” Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. His first job, in the early 1960s, was as a welder in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up to pursue a career as a folk singer. In the early 1970s, he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to full-fledged comedian. Billy has co-starred in several major films, including The Boondock Saints, The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, The Last Samurai and Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.

5. “Never trust a man with short legs; his brainís too near his bottom.”

Sir NoÎl Peirce Coward was an English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer, known for his wit, charm, poise and flamboyance. He authored almost 50 plays, including “Blithe Spirit”, “The Rat Trap”, “Fallen Angels”, “Design For Living” and “Peace In Our Time.” Coward was also a major cabaret star, performing many of his own songs, including “Mad Dogs and Englishmen”, “London Pride”, “I’ll See You Again” and “I Went to a Marvellous Party.” Coward won an Academy Award in 1943 for his patriotic wartime naval film drama, ‘In Which We Serve”, and he was knighted by the Queen of England in 1969.